What We Talk About When We Talk About Love
by Remus J. Lupin-Black
Summary: Remus visits Arthur at St. Mungo’s. RemusSirius, ArthurMolly, past ArthurRemus.


**Title**: What We Talk About When We Talk About Love  
**Author**: Remus J. Lupin-Black  
**Rating**: PG  
**Era**: OotP (Christmas)  
**Genre**: Um…baby-Angst/General  
**Pairing(s)**: Arthur/Molly, Remus/Sirius, mentions of past Arthur/Remus  
**Summary**: Remus visits Arthur at St. Mungo's.  
**Disclaimer**: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
**Author's Note**: Inspired by the short story, "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" by Raymond Carver. I stole the title as well because it seemed to fit. Sorta. I hate to say this, but I think its one of those short stories that only winds up getting read by Carver fans and college Lit students. Goodness knows I wouldn't have read this sort of stuff in high school. I've paraphrased a quote from the story as well. Will make a note of it at the end in the Author's Note there.  
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"So, I hope this will be the last time you muck around with muggle healing," Remus said amused as he eased himself into the empty chair beside Arthur's bed. "Especially stitches?"

Arthur grinned.

"Considering Molly'd skin me," he replied cheekily. Remus laughed, looking around the room in interest. "Oh, the others got cleared out. The woman finally went home. Seems she got bitten by a dragon she'd been keeping and the gentleman was taken to the Ministry to register."

"Oh, all right," Remus said. "How are you feeling?"

"Been better, but I'm feeling quite well. I should be able to leave soon. You know, you never had the chance to tell me how Harry liked those books you and Sirius got him. I know Molly's a bit…hesitant on accepting the fact that you and Sirius are giving joint gifts, but I'm interested."

"He loved them," Remus assured him. "I'm well aware of Molly's feeling on it, but it hardly matters. She's kept her mouth shut around the children though."

Arthur nodded.

"Glad to hear it," he said. "I think it's silly not to tell them. It isn't as if it's a big deal."

"Only you would say that," Remus said, a trace of affection in his voice. Arthur smirked, glancing around the room before leaning forward, wincing slightly as the bandage pulled on his wounds.

"How's Sirius doing? I know the kids are leaving back to Hogwarts in a few days," he asked.

Remus sighed.

"He's gone back to locking himself in with Buckbeak again," he answered gently, looking a bit uncomfortable. "He's started drinking again as well."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Arthur said softly. "Keep Molly away from him."

"She's taken to saying he's having fits of sullen," Remus explained. "She's been hinting at me that Dora's taken a fancy with me. I had to talk to her once before about it. Didn't mention Sirius, but I think she suspects. Harry nearly heard us though."

"You told me about that before," Arthur said. "Look, Remus, I'd hate to sound like a busybody, but Tonks isn't so bad. She's a good kid."

"Arthur, are you suggesting I leave Sirius for his twenty-two-year-old cousin?" Remus asked, his voice teasing.

Arthur laughed.

"Hardly," he said good-naturedly. "Just don't lead her on. You're too nice sometimes and you worry too much about what everyone else is thinking and feeling, to care about your own."

"Ah," Remus nodded. "I'll try to remember that."

Arthur frowned.

"Look, I know this is me putting my nose back where it doesn't belong, but you shouldn't do it with Sirius either," he said carefully. Remus frowned.

"I shouldn't what?"

"Remus," Arthur said, his voice stern, and stopping Remus from saying anything further. "Sirius has twelve years with the Dementors under his belt. It'll be years. Maybe decades before he's back to what he once was and even then, it's something he'll have to live with. I'm not going to deny that he loves you, but he's preoccupied now. With guilt over not being able to take care of Harry and of being locked in that awful house. You can't afford to try and help him all the time. I know you spend every moment you aren't out on some mission for the Order in that house. It's not right."

"Someone has to," Remus said gently. "I can't leave him there alone. He won't make it if I leave him there alone. He'll let the house kill him. It'll eat him alive."

Worry lines appeared on Arthur's face as he shook his head.

"You're right," he mumbled, looking sheepish. "He needs all the support he can get. It's not fair what he's been through. He deserves a chance at a real life. That's why Dumbledore's working on finding a way to clear his record. It might be a while though. Maybe another year or so with the way the Ministry is acting. I guess Molly's done a job of turning me into a doting husband."

"Not something I would have seen you as," Remus said. "Sirius is…he's failed James and he wants to make up for it but not failing Harry."

"But he is failing Harry," Arthur pointed out. "I hate to say it, but locking himself up with Buckbeak and drinking all the time isn't supporting Harry."

Remus sighed, leaning back into the chair.

"I know," he said after a moment of silence. "He's getting better though. He's just a bit depressed over the kids leaving for school. He'll miss them."

"Do you really think it's something he's going to break out of in a few days?" Arthur asked easily, watching Remus carefully for any signs that he'd gone too far.

"Is it wrong to hope?" Remus asked in reply.

Arthur shook his head.

"No," he said, "but how many times am I going to have to watch you cry over him?"

There was silence, Remus' eyes flashing as he looked steadily at Arthur.

"Arthur," Remus said carefully, his voice level, a sign that he was angry. "I have him back. There is a chance to rebuild what we had before the war ripped us apart. He and I talked it to death after I found out he was innocent. We're willing to take the time to try. I am allowed to cry over him. You've cried over Molly. Over what you and I nearly did to your marriage."

Arthur flushed, looking away for half a moment before he met Remus' eyes again.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again," he explained and before he could stop himself, he'd reached forward and grabbed Remus' hand. "You know, I never told you, but if I didn't have Molly and you didn't have Sirius. I like to think we might have had something. Even with the age difference."

Remus' eyes softened and he absently twined his fingers with Arthur's.

"What's eight years between lovers?" Remus asked.

"You know," Arthur stopped, shaking his head. "Never mind, it'll sound stupid."

"No. What?"

"Well, you know I've been thinking since I've been here," Arthur shook his head. "This'll sound stupid, but nearly dying makes a man think and well, you're really the only person I'd tell this too."

Remus arched an eyebrow.

"Do I need to get Molly in here to drag it out of you?" he asked.

Arthur shook his head vehemently.

"Molly's the last person I want to hear this," he said hastily. "I love her. I really do. With everything I've got. Like you and Sirius, you know?" Remus nodded. "We've been married since we were nineteen. I've been thinking about if I died. Or if Molly died and…it's terrible. It's a terrible thing. The terrible thing is and…I don't know, it could be a good thing too I suppose, but if something should happen to one of us; you'll have to forgive me for saying this, but if something happened to one of us tomorrow or sometime in the future, I think the other one…the other person would grieve for a long while. You know. But…eventually we'd move on and maybe…love again. Maybe not as deeply or as strongly, but on some level, we would move on."

"Arthur?" Remus asked.

"You're my friend, Remus," Arthur continued as if Remus hadn't said anything, tightening his grip on the other man's hand. "Sirius is my friend as well, but…he's reckless and loyal and stupid and you're spending free time with vampires and dangerous werewolves. You spent twelve years trying to get over him the first time and you didn't…he tried to do the same thing from what I've gathered, sure he'd lost you. If one of you died…is it going to be another twelve years before one of you could move on?"

"I'm not sure where this is coming from, Arthur," Remus said uneasily.

"Pain Potions," Arthur said. "I asked Molly earlier when she came to visit if she ever thought about trying out for one of those muggle beauty contests. She got flustered since I did it in the middle of a fight."

Remus sighed.

"You're fighting again?" he asked.

"It's just about this stitches thing," Arthur said absently, sitting back again, "and Percy. I'm ready to just give up on him, but she's so hopeful that he'll see the light and come back. Even her stink about Bill dating Fleur wasn't this bad and she's still getting on his case about that. Keeps saying it's a phase. Bet they'll be engaged soon."

Remus smiled. He had seen Bill and Fleur together and it was clear that the two were quite in love and it was more than just a passing fancy.

"Wait," he sat up. "You're not sleeping with someone else are you?"

Arthur shook his head.

"No!" he said violently. "I haven't…not since…you know."

"I was half of that, Arthur," Remus said quietly.

"You had just lost James and Lily and…well you thought Peter as well and Sirius was in Azkaban and they wouldn't let you in to speak with him to try and understand what happened. Considering how it'd been between you and Sirius before that all happened, it was understandable that you'd turn to someone for comfort of the…er…physical kind. I didn't have an excuse."

Remus shook his head.

"I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have turned to you," he said apologetically.

"It would have just been someone else," Arthur said quietly. "Besides, I think…I'm sure she had someone at the time as well."

"You don't think she's…now?" Remus asked.

Arthur shook his head.

"No, I don't," he replied. "You know. I never told her."

"You didn't have to do that," Remus said.

"I did," Arthur said violently. "I know it was fourteen years ago, but I still feel guilty about it sometimes. Under different circumstances…"

Remus sighed.

"Don't think about what ifs, Arthur," he advised. "Look. I should be going."

Arthur nodded, releasing Remus' hand in the process.

"Look, Remus, I didn't mean to get you worked up," he said with a smile. "I want you and Sirius to be happy and Molly and I are just going through a rough period. It happens when you're together for as long as we've been. Give it ten years and you and Sirius will be bickering like an old married couple too."

Remus smiled.

"One can only hope," he stood up. "I'll talk to you later, Arthur. Try to keep from using muggle medicine and you should be fine."

Arthur laughed.

"Will do," he said. "Send Molly my love and tell her I'm sorry. I know she'll think it's for the stitches, but…"

"It's not," Remus finished, nodding. "I'll give her the message. Anything else?"

"Yeah," Arthur looked up at Remus from the bed. "This might be the Pain Potions talking again, but don't give up on him. He needs you more than he'll ever need Harry, even if he can't see it sometimes."

Remus smiled and with a small wave, left the room to return to Grimmauld Place with every intention of dragging Sirius out of Buckbeak's room and trying, if only for Harry's sake.  
-  
**Author's Note**: Eh…whatever. It's something. The quote about moving on that Arthur sort of stammered out was from the Carver story. I do hope this made sense and it wasn't just me blathering on like an idiot. Also, the first person to get on my case about Arthur or Molly cheating gets to be smacked because I've seen it happen and the couples wound up closer. To quote the Baker's Wife from the musical _Into the Woods_, "Remembering you've have an 'and' when you're back to 'or'. Make the 'or' mean more than it did before."


End file.
